LonEly ChRistmass...

24.12.2008
time jz comes so fast....
at 1st i was thinkin tat mabe i wont b celebrating christmass alone...
early in the morning..i woke up early..
i prepared everything ready well...
all was like perfect...
bt thn the time is short..
i called..
waited n waited...
it took veli long time b4 she could had picked it up...
at last...
she picked it up..bt the time was already late..
by thn..i jz was down there..in the car..waiting..
thn she came out...
bt i gt sad feeling..i dunno wat was it at 1st..
bt my six sense jz tell me so..
she didnt wear as v promise v would do...
bt i didnt mind a lot..coz mabe her time was kinda packed..
thn...
i tot mabe i wil gt a present?
bt no..i dun hav..
by thn..whn v were on our way 2 to gai gai..
whn on the way..
v didnt talk much..
it was a silence...
until v reach there..
i tot mabe she will get me a present jz bcoz 2 say soli 2 me..tat cant accompany me..
at nite..
bt she didnt...
v went into shops...
she was jz bz choosing a gift 4 her fren...
bt the person she care n thinkin wasn't me...
actually..
i was kinda angry n sad...
bt i jz dunno wat else i can speak out anymore...
after the long walk...
it was time 2 go back...
she knew tat i was havin time problem..coz i still gt alot of things 2 take care of...
bt she seems like doesnt bother about it at all..
all she cares was hers..her time...
her own things...
bt nv think of me b4...
i was being a fool...
y should i being good 2 her since she is like tat 2 me..
i cant speak 4 myself..
i jz feel so out...
sometimes i saw my frenz..
thy r so happy wif their partner..
i jz feel so...
jealous~
whn she gt bak 2 her skool..
i send her a sms...
"MERRY CHRISTMASS!"
bt she didnt reply me..
i had already knw the answer...
bt i jz cant face it..
even though i try nt 2 sms her or call her..
bt she would nt find me at all...
she would rather find her frenz thn finding me..
after all wat i been through wif her..
she nv even care...
so tis year christmass..i was goin alone...
bt even though it end up wif frenz goin neway there..
bt it jz seems so lonely 4 me..
coz all i wan was..being wif my loves ones..
bt i jz cant hav tat kind of gift..
i reali gt no more strength 4 anything..
i jz feelin so tired...
n i cant even wan to continue 2 anywhere at all...
mabe next year i could hav a happy christmass?
nobody knws..bt i jz wish i would..>.<
CAUSE I BELIEVE...

幸福不滅 - 羅志祥alan luo

A Distance Away

maybe I don´t show up again love will be worth you remember
you also don´t want to see seeing also won´t change
your hurtful face as you were turning

maybe if I let go firmly you´ll be able to let the memories emerge
it´s bitter or it´s sweet when you remember my face
I hope it´s not the (taste of) salty tear

I only can leave you far away yet I still unluckily hurt you
I don´t deserve your beauty ending let you love discomposure
but I the further I am from you the closer you´re in my eyes
I can´t see anymore your happy face that loved me

still owe you too many promises I don´t have that competence to carry them out
for me you clinked closely (in) your past
far away I´ll be watching your happiness

遠遠 - lin yu zhong

4goTtEn~

fOrgEt~
sOme how~
i reAli 4get waT loVe uSed 2 b~
i Cant fEel it anymore...
itS gOne~

i dunNo wat else to think anymore....
i jz feElin like...
i do not have energy 2 think anymore..
i wan to stop n rest....
i cant continue anymore..
bt wat 2 do...
it jz keep on goin n on...

waT if i gt an accident?
i 4get everything...even me...
will it b a best way?
i think it will..coz at least...
i wont suffer so much as rite nw i m havin.....
y do i nid get tis kind of thoughts..oni...
i can relieved myself?

i reali havin headache!!!!!
i dunno hw long i can hold anymore...
i reali veli tired!
can i jz hav a rest?
plz...plz...plz...i jz dun wan keep on anymore...
i dunno wat 2 do anymore...
y!!!

y muz i b a GOOD LOVER!?
y cant i jz b a BAD LOVER?
y muz all the good times...fly away jz like a wind..
so fast..so easy...
n jz like tat...
did i did something wrong???

y muz her b so cold 2 me??
i hav feelings....
i m nt a machine....
hw come my dreams...each nite by nite...
becoming a nitemare....
y muz everynite b awake jz bcoz of tat nitemare...
i dunno wat i can do anymore...

i jz hope 1 day..i reali can let down the burden....
bcoz i reali cannot continue anymore...
n i do nt hav any strenght....
i reali wan rest...stop...
sleep....
i wan hav a happy mind...
i dun like being like tis........
its veli tough....

bcoz she doenst care.....she....
looks down on me...
she mabe..had..another in mind..
A,B,C,D n others in coming....
bt i m nt in listed...
i m blacklisted...
i feEl lonelY....
jz lonely...
i hope..i can find..
an Answer...
tired...
sleepy..
restless...
unhappy...
eMo....

all tis will b changed into happiness 2 her...
bt i had suffer...
i had given all my own 2 her...
bt...
i fail at last...

爱太痛 - wu ke qun

PlAyFull

SomeTimEs LoVe cAn b plaYfull...

When u r missing some1...

u will think of calling her/him...

u will aso wondering wat she/he is doin....

bt whN u r holding ur hp n clickin her/his num...

u will jz suddenly feel nt like calling coz...

u worry tat u worry disturb her/him....

bt whn u reali did call...

n u hear the "tot" "tot"...

n nobody answer tat time...

u will b thinkin tat...

"Wat is she/he doing leh?BZ?"

bt thn at the same time...

u will b thinkin tat is she/he bz wif another person?or nt?

many things will automatically comes into ur mind...

many reason...

bt last whn tat some1...told u tat..

i was bz doin my project..i was eating...i was in the toilet...i didnt hear it rang...

thn u will feel relieved...

bt some ppl wont..coz u wont wat thy r doin at tat time..mabe she/he lied?

ppl used 2 say...u should believe in her/him...

bt hw could i possible believe if she/he lied 2 me b4....

it's all QUESTION!

sometimes i do think..wat if she/he didnt lied b4..

will i believe her/his words?

i dunno the answer..bcoz the 1 who feel it will knw...

i dunno hw 2 say it...bt i dun think everything will feel alrite..

i came across a fren...

he was quite a lucky fellow...

he once had love problems..n it caused him 2 fell 2 deep of his heart...

bt thn he was lucky..tat he found some1 who will appreciated him...

he was nt pure handsome,rich,knowledge...

bt he was good wif frenz...he aso treats his gf well taken care...

bt somebody wif tat kind of life couldn't have nice n caring gf as his...

coz every1 is different..

u cant hav a happy days like he could..even though he was nt all perfect...

"once upon a time"

tis was fairy tales story..

n it usually end up wif

"and they lived happily ever after..."

it was a lied!

coz nt ever1 can have tat kind of sentence in their script....

NO ONE!

unless u hav a nice script...

even though hw hard i work 4...n hw much i given out..

its useless...

coz i nv care 2 take wat is mine...

n mabe bcoz i was being 2 kind...

i letting her/him standing a top my head....

i do wish i get my own nice script...

BUT WHY?!

y muz i nt have it?

did i do any wrong in my past?

y muz she/he treat me like tat?

y muz everything go away frm me?

ITS NOT FAIR!

i care so much!

i even did the stupiest things i wont do...

bt i did...

whn her/his hp no credit..

i will jz purposely go nearby shops or far away jz 2 top up 4 her/him...

whn i m shopping wif her/him...

she/he like something..

i will jz later on..buy it..thn suprise her/him..

y muz i do all tis?

I DUNNO....

bt 1 thing i m sure tat...i knw she/he like it...

i wan her/him 2 b happy...

i wan give all the happiness i can 2 her/him....

even though i had hard time saving n earning those money...

bt 4 me its like worth it...

bt 4 other ppl...they r jz thinking..

STUPID!

i reali dunno wat i can say...

even though...

a expensive western restaurant...

u knw u wont go those place coz its expensive n its over ur budget..

bt u didnt mind..u jz save ur money though out the month without havin ur meals bt everyday...

u r havin a piece of bread n water...

u save the money jz 4 her/him...

thy wont knw..thy r jz takin u as dieting...

bt thy nv knw tat...

thy r destroying themselves instead jz wan 2 giv happiness n nicest things 2 there loved ones...

nt jz oni tat...

whn u doin something reali bz...

n she/he called..say..fetch me home can mah?

u will jz suddenly say...YES!

without minding ur things..u came out..jz 2 fetch her home...

bt she/he didnt tat...actually u r quite bz at moment..

bt after she/he reach home...thy wont say anything..jz leave the car..

n back inside the home...

u will jz stupid outside as u go back 2 ur place..

n u will b scolded by ur boss or watever...

she/he wont sms u telling tat sorry tat takes ur time...

NO!

it wont do...

coz thy wont do it...

thy dun appreciate whoever u r or wat u did...

life is like tat..

4 once...

i loved some1 deeply...bt she wont care about me at all...

at 1st...she used 2 b care..bt its a normal care..

all i wan is a love care..

a secure care...bt she didnt giv...

always saying i nt enuf....

i jz wonder...did i do anything wrong?y muz u treat me like tat way...

last time...my frenz used 2 say...hw can u wif tis kind of gal...

saying..she is nt perfect nor anything..bt..

i didnt mind...

coz i knw someday..she can b pretty...

n she reali did improve..coz i help her a lot..

i buy her tis n tat..n giving advice n hw 2 take care 4 her skin...

bt once she is pretty..she is different...

she looks down at u...

coz i m fat...ugly....stupid....poor...

so i jz try 2 diet..earn more money...

bt wat is result..nthg...

coz she had changed...

she is nt the gal tat used once 2 b...

u had made some1 who gt confidents on herself...bt on u anymore...

my best fren always ask..hw r u wif her ar?

i will jz say..its ok ar...

bt he did knw tat i m nt ok...

coz he knew me long time...n he knws tat bcoz of my voice reaction...

bt wat 2 do?

its still the same...

1 day...

she did told me she like piano...n wanted 2 learn...

thn i quickly...find a keyboard...

coz i knw keyboard n piano r quite gt relationship..

so i learned n learned without her knowing..coz i wanted 2 play a song 2 her....

i dunno i still gt the chance anot...

bt i do hope...i can!

coz i wan her 2 my 1st person 2 hear me play a romantic song 2 her...

mabe i hav play?

or nt?

everything is so complicated rite here...

i do hope someday...everythin will b alrite..i wan everything b happy...

L For Love L FOr Lies

i dUnNo...."_"

NoV 20 2008~
i didnt knw wat 2 do le....

once~a story...

whnever u r wif some1 u like so much~

u wont like it 2 being separated or gt any problems wif it...

mostly like..

1) dun wan other guys/gals to steal it frm u..

2)keep her heart rite where it belong 2 u n nt others...

3)hate her/him keepin secrets tat will hurt u...

bt actually...all tis u will nt escaped frm it...

coz u cant control it...

sometimes...wont a normal couple...

get angry bcoz of him/her gettin pic wif other ppl reali close ma??

or issit being 2 sensitive???

i wont knw the answer at all...

coz i dunno wat i was thinkin rite nw was true?real?confused?

haiz....

lately...i had known some secrets that she didnt say....

n i found out the true about it..

i had revealed it.....

bt sometimes releaving a secret isn't a good idea..coz u will be thinking a lot soon after tat..

sometimes ur thinks and proof may b true or false...nobody knws unless the person who did it..

once a person told me tat...

u r nice guy coz u treats ur gf so nice n caring..

n i jz say ya..i love her a lot...

bt thn the person told me 1 thing..

its better thn dun put it in ur mind sayin tat..

WHY?!i treat u so nice n carin but u doesnt care or appreciate it??!

tis will oni makes u sad...

after the person sayin tis..i had think of something..

actually..i was thinkin like tat 2...coz i m feelin kinda lonely n desperate...

all i think of nw is tat...even though i had known her secrets behind me...

i jz pretend tat i didnt knw...

bt jz continue treating her as hw i usually care so much n put my love on it..

i knw it will hurts a lot 2 me in tis kind of situation n being veli stupid...

bt...

4 me..its worth it!coz in tis life..i reali did something good...

n i wont 4get tat i had once..ever love some1 so much...

even though at last she will leave me in the end..it doesnt matter anymore...

i found a out a song note...

你还是最深爱的人

你要的我愿把全部都给你

你说的毫不保留着不相信

只要我能够让你快乐我一定都给你

只要我能够让你幸福什么都愿意

你是最深爱的女人

你拥有最美的眼神

炽热的最真

烧伤了我心急如焚我愿意为你没有了身份

你就是我最深爱的人

你还是我最爱的女人

bcoz of tis..i learn tat...

no matter wat..i still willin givin out all my life jz 4 her..

even though at last she doesnt choose me...

i jz knew tat...

every couple will have it own story bt different kind of loves..

tats all...

some1 mabe out there is even hurt thn me..

the reason i writtin all tis was 2 tell myself..u muz nt giv up urself..u had 2 let it go..

n as well..i dun smoke nor drinks a lot..

so many ppl had different kinds of letting out their disturbed minds..

i will still love her wif all my heart..

如果世上沒傻瓜 [歌詞]

如果世上沒傻瓜 [歌詞]
主唱: 方力申曲: BenTsang 詞: 林夕

傻在為你 賣完了討好的把戲
被你把持如馴良機器
研習更動人語氣 然後換來悔氣
是作耍花槍趣味

傻在為你 任情緒墮落未逃避
不管安泥浮沉泥沼當作極樂園地
難道世上唯有你 才令地球更美
明知等於寵壞你

＊如果世上沒傻瓜 談戀愛像會談吧
算得太盡還可擁抱嗎 如何估計回報多寡
如談戀愛為著成家 若代價太高昂就變心嗎
恕我在燃燒中結巴 純因信奉我任性的火花
那怕肉麻＊

傻在為你 沒投機玩捉摸心理
沒有港流仍然迷戀你
明白我未贏到你 仍像別人嘆氣
避開專家的見地

傻在為你 像孩子不懂得對比
這種堅持如拿來講作會練就奇技
寧原拒絕忘記你 和自在來鬥氣
淚光怎可遮蓋傲氣

REPEAT＊

愛叫我放低智商 誰人又有福未問價先付帳
傻人自有傻樂 未為了中獎

如果世上沒傻瓜 談戀愛像會談吧
算得太盡還可擁抱嗎 如何估計回報多寡
從來不介意做傻瓜 莫論有可能為瞬間絕美像曇花
如果愛是難買別買的壁畫 算了吧

pUzZLeeee~~~>.<

sOmEtiMeS i waS jZ tHinKin~

爱情不能做比较

wAs It i lEt 2 mUch le...or IsSIt i nt good enuF~~~

HaIZzzz....

whenever u think everything will b alrite tat time and definetly like everythings is perfect 2 u at 1st...it will be wrong...coz the more u wan it will wont come 2 u at all...i oNce try...bt it nv went out rite..

i still remember once tat v had been 2gather...i feel happy n didnt think much coz i didnt wan had happen b4..coz i wan 4get all about the past that happen~....

tHe 1st time i was wif her, it was at the moment quite perfectly n everything was goin smoothly..

till...

1 day, she changed....it was nv like b4........

till tat she told me tat i was treating her badly during those days....

i didnt realise i was like tat....

n she jz treat me like i treated her......

kinda like it at all...

so i jz didnt say much..bt i continue the best i can do 4 her....

everything jz 4 her own good...

duRing these days....

she sTarted coLlEge......

she was totally different like i didnt knw...

v less meet...v less talk...

it was like as there is no more feel 4 her 2 me....

i didnt complain....

i think it was jz me who was wrong oni n thinking 2 much...

bt its nt..coz she told me tat thy r guyz chasing after her..

i was kinda angry n afraid at 1st bcoz i scare i will lost her..........

bt she told me she wont change her heart...

bt its jz a cheer up sentence...

bcoz i knw...whenever some1 says tis...it is jz lie...

i usually listen 2 music...the lyrics was givin miracle n chances...

bt its useless....

CoZ she...nv care about me...

1day..she went oout 2 the beach wif her frenz...

she told me she will sms me once she reach there....

bt she didnt...instead she play wif her college frenz...

by the mean time...i was bz calling her n sms her n i was worry about her..

i didnt knw wat 2 do at all....i tot she mabe havin some trouble or anything...

bt she nv told me..until i call her frenz...

a number tat i saw was a female name.......

i call...n after tat its a guy who pick it up...

i was thinkin..givin reason 2 myself say tat it mabe was a gal num..bt her guyz frenz pick it up 4 her or so ever...

bt i didnt care..i jz ask was her there...thn he pass it 2 her...

she told me she was bz...n she left her hp in the room...

n gt no time 2 reply me...

i was thinkin in mind

"HeY! i m ur bf leh...y dun u jz let me tat u arrive n will b bz thn mai can le..."

bt she didnt...

eversince thn she change a lot..even though she reach home le..

she nv care 2 let me knw..instead i call again..

n her sis jz pick n say..she been long time de..n nw is sleepin...

i jz say..."Ohhz..thn nvm le.."

after i hang up the phone..i was thinkin..m i jz thinkin 2 much or i didnt care about her feelins?

or m i being 2 busy 2 disturb her private life...

so i jz told myself..it was my fault...

i should'nt disturb her 2 much if nt things will nt work out rite...

tiLl...when she gt college frenz..it seems tat i m invisible 2 her le...

she jz minds her frenz more thn i do...

i was like in her heart...0%...nt a important status...

she treated her frenz more care bt 2 me was jz like i m nt there.....

i dun mind about hw she treated me..coz i knw...

love doesnt have any % coz no matter 2 treat who good or bad it doesnt matter at all...

till i found tat she was usually sms wif guyz tat were chasing after her...i was quite angry..she even takes pic wif thm...n puttin out...bt mine wif her was jz like secret..it wasnt important at all..

she even says..takin pic wif me..was jz like damn ugly...

i was hurt...bt nt jz oni tat..she says tat she alone takes pic is much more better...

ThEre are people saying tat...usually a drunk person talkin out the sentence was real n didnt lie...

she told me.."I DUN WAN U ANYMORE"

i was even hurter...bt i didnt mind..i still continue 2 help her clear things coz i knw i muz nt mind tat 1st...

if a couple says tat..issit veli hurt as there were many long swords struck against ur heart over n over again...

i jz cant stand it..coz i did secret cry inside my heart..i cant let ppl knw tat i cry out...

all it doesnt matter anymore...

even though she outside wif another guy..i wont b able 2 knw at all...

coz she been keepin secrets like deleting all her sms n call out or call in numbers...

so that i cant find out....bt feel is jz comin faster n faster...

i nv care anymore...

i dun wan think anymore...if she ever leave me...

wat do i do?

i jz can say..i dunno...

love cannot be weight......even though u wif her or him hw long time...its jz useless...

nobody can reali predict the future....

i jz wan 2 say..i still love her...i nv change my heart at all.....

coz tat is wat love is about....i knw...hw it feels...it some1 get tis matter...

i jz can say that...

jz pretend u dunno anything...jz continue wif wat u r doin....

i even try gifts..bt its nt jz the same...

frenzz always say...its her lost oni if she doesnt appreciate u...i believe...

bt tat is tat...u wont able 2 feel the person who r being hurt....u wont able 2 understand...

any1 has it own story..bt it jz in different script...

the true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other

HaHaZ~~~~jX 1St TiMe PlAyiN bLoG~.~

hello~i new here oooohhhzzz....~~~~~

i m jz an ordinary guy wif secrets ar...~~~hahaz..

StUpId XD



I aM aLeX!~

jZ 19 tIs yEaR nOr~



liViN iN KKKKKKKKKllllll~.~



KakAz~hopE kNw nEw FreZ hErE noR~~



STAY HAPPY!!!!!

XD dunno wat 2 write de~~ kakaz..