Love Story

Love Story

Day 1,

The first day me and my Dear finally watch movie together. I am so happy when I first heard that we finally go watch movie and I quickly go book tickets online~ :-)

Alvin and the Chipmunks 3!!!!

But before going to watch movies, we go over to Gardens there to eat Taiwanese Cuisine...

A lot have happened lately..the good is just around the corner..will slowly update more and more new stuff....

Courage and Love

Courage and Love

Day 14-12-2011 , 

The number of days that is left is getting lesser and lesser. Starting to feel worry and fear. There are rules and regulation in it, but I seem to try to break the rules. The experience and mistakes I learned from the past, it slowly gives me some courage but there are always things that need to be repay. I had question for myself, what if it happens that way in the end? Will I be satisfied with the answer? I think I will feel satisfied because "LOVE" is blind. In the end, the answer wasn't the important at all. All it really matters is how you think because you had done your best. 

Things are getting messy and messier. I sometimes felt confused in some reasons. Putting effort doesn't meant success but only partial of lessons you will learn. I had always try to put effort and courage to it. I had never once in life succeed before. There are many negatives mindset in me that I could not control it. There are things that others will never know. Fear, is one of the negative mindset that it should not think of because it will distract myself from proceeding. 

When you try to show the nature of yourself, it might look horrible but I am just being myself. I slowly again start feeling the coldness that will be coming to me. I try to get myself warmth up but it is too cold as like I am being inside a freezer without any exit. Slowly, i realize that people who thinks about the relationship is because they do care about holding the relationship so that it will be stronger that the string might not be torn.

What if the things really became like the usual that you used to be. Will I still be the same? There will be question for me, but the answer is always, I will return back to my original state because that will be my fate. What if things turn out you wanted to be? Will I merrier? Yes, I will but I will start to have a long journey to stick with. The journey doesn't question me anything because I will do better and better. 

I am like a mirror, I smile and it returns me a smile when I am facing it, but when I turn around without facing the mirror, I might start to feel down and just facing down. There might be tears but the tear shows that I really care about it and it really will hurts. It will be painless to others because when I faced them, they saw the smiles that reflects, but when I turn around, you might see that so that you won't able to know about it.

Courage will give you strength and Love will give you life. With a true heart, it might not always win but it give memories. I just wish that one of my wishes come true. I used to listen to a song long time ago. "Never had a dream come true"

"Never had a dream come true till the day I had found you"
Am I?

Timing

Timing

11-12-2011,

Timing, it's very hard to decide the timing. Too many things happened so quickly, in the end, only reality. There many things that could not be expected. Can't sleep but I am still awake by the thinking. Haiz...

Another Moment

Another Moment

9 December 2011,

There is only a few days before it comes, after a night on the concert, I starting to feel many things going back the original way that I used to feel. While walking towards the empty street with only songs to accompany me, I felt that nothing had changed. I starting to feel that, when people is happy then its will be ok, it doesn't meant I need to happy so that it will make me feel better. I don't think I will feel that anyway. I have a sixth sense, I feel something that I will be the same like usual, the same way that I am walking on the empty street. I felt the cold now, not because I am in an air cond room, but I do felt that coldness from some where else. I can't describe the cold because it happens to me all the time. While I am in the room with the lights off and I could only see the laptop screen that is very bright. When I am on my bed, I felt lost and sometimes, my body would feel very cold because of alone. I can't always think that way because I need to clam myself down. Sometimes actions and words may not describe how I felt. When I am alone, I can only be myself, the original me that was once quiet and don't dare to say anything much to anyone. I had a small heart that can't take big incidents but I always faces big incidents. Times that I need friends or some talk, but it doesn't appear to have one because I prefer to be alone. At least, I knew that I can stay focus and slowly get back up with my own bare hands. People do need caring and warmth but mabye for me, it might be an optional because I am used to it. I wanted to write more things but I could not, because it doesn't meant anything. It will only be words without any feelings anymore.

Loving someone is difficult than forgetting someone. When you love someone, you will try your best to impress them but when you knew that, they doesn't like you, you will feel hurt but you will still go on because you don't mind getting hurt. When you start to forget someone, it is easy because you don't really care about the feelings anymore. I can easily fall in love with someone, because I really felt that love. Although, the time may be short, but it is worth it. While I was driving back home, I listen the same song for many times. (好心好報)

I felt that way, no matter how good deeds you did, it does not meant that there are repays. I can see that in the end, I am alone again. In the beginning, everything works fine but when they don't need you anymore, I will just be a silly boy that continues to wait and wait for miracles to happen. It doesn't hurt others but I felt that and it doesn't matter. Anyway, it was just another night of a dream. I slowly felt that I am like a reflection in the mirror, when you smile, I will smile back but when you had closed the lights, you can't see the smiling face anymore because you are still imagining the smiling face, at least you won't feel any pain.

I can't have a good sleep because my dreams are waking me up. I am trying to push myself to sleep and not to think to much. I wasn't thinking anything, only the cold and loneliness that kept me awake.

Nights.....

The Same Old Christmas Feeling

The Same Old Christmas Feeling


Day 06-12-2011,

The feeling is still the same as usual, nothing special but still alone. Many things has changed but only in the pace of improvement in my own future. Nothing much and nothing more. I am starting to feel left out again even though the smiles and laughter that I can make it up. This year, I only see the joy of people enjoying the christmas taste. Nowadays, I don't feel any better after that incident happened. I felt lost and can't concentrate on the things that I want to do. Sometimes, I felt that the happiness that I had once always eager want to have is no longer there anymore. White Christmas Tree,

I want to make things change but I could not do it. Even if I would want to change it, if won't change as well. I had always advice friends to be more strong and stay in reality, but when the thing goes back to me, I unable to get strong. I don't have any courage to like anyone anymore because I don't have that kind of feeling anymore, no matter what really happens. I don't feel the joy or excitement anymore like before. I felt myself bad and only tears that will starting to roll out. I don't feel like going anywhere but just stay at home or just be by the lakeside or beach. Listening to the water waves that is splashing to one wave to another. I like to switch on the application that can that listen to the waves and rain drops. The sound and environment was the feeling that I am feeling right now. Tears seem to be dropping by each second in minutes.

Day 05-12-2011,

This was the day that I start to lost confidence and my feeling of happiness with the smiles and laughter were starting to be taken away from myself. There are many things that I don't want to do it, but I did the mistake. I start to tell myself, please don't be so stupid anymore, it is just a past. It will not happen again even though it had the chance. If i don't ever smile again, will there be a problem for me? I will feel the distance of lonely starting to be nearer. I think I am on that step. Love may never be perfect, but only those who are in relationship will felt that it was perfect for them because they love another in their hearts although there may be conflict with one another. In a relationship, no matter what happens, it can be very sweet if you only think it was sweet. I used to have that feeling but it was no longer there anymore. It had disappear for some time that I didn't know when it happened before. I try to stand up and I managed to did it, with my own two hands but I saw other people with a group of hands to help them out in the misery. I felt that I am stronger but i saw people with full smiles but for me, Anger to revive myself. It was no difference that I am working alone or with someone else because in the end, it will remain the same old me. I saw the younger friends of mine, I always encourage them to work better and learn more stuff because I had experienced once before, I felt regret that I never learn much and being this way. I would like to work in an environment of office, because I only talk to myself and just go on with the work. After work, I will walk back to the railway station and saw many nice shops on the way. I will able to see the happiness smiles on people while going back home but I will still have a despair heart in the end. I am so envy with people who are always hanging out with friends where else, I am single at the moment.