The Mind Deep Underwater....

July 5 2010..
Today, i try to cool down myself. This few days really having a hard time. Many problems keep on occur. Then i remember a way of cooling of myself. Then the first thing i ever think is swimming alone. But unfortunately, my condo the pool is under fixing. With no choice i had to call my friends and go over his place. Even though i had gone to the pool, when i am diving into the water, i was thinking of relaxing and thinking of nothing at all. There is one thing i realize is that, no matter how long you goes into the water, you had to get out of the water, because you will get out of breath as well. So what i had think in mind, no matter what problems or what you had in life, there is always an ending. you had to face it, because once you escape, there is someday coming back the problem, swimming is like life, when you dive in, you will feel cool and easy but you had to get up from the cool and easy time. You had to get the breath if not you will get even more worse and suffering. Swimming might help in cooling down the stress but its not fully letting go, because it just help you to cool down your stress, but will never ever help you to let go of that stress unless you solve the problems. One thing i realize is that, no matter how hard the life goes, must go on, never ever give up on your own self because you might only get things worst only. I started to love swimming again, i want to dive into the water and stop there, closing my eyes, everything in my mind to be empty, as long as i am feeling free in the cool blue water. If everything you had just go away like that, what would i do?? i think will just continue on what i could do, appreciate what i had now, but what had lost is lost. It would not come back anymore. Even though it comes back, would you want it back? in mind would want it, but in my life, i think i want settle myself before i can proceed. I don't have that much energy to control the things, i also had my own limitation. There is one quote that i always like to tell myself, "What Doesn't Kill Will Only Make Me Stronger.". I like this quote so much because it really helps me in life, i never intend to give on the things i archive, because i do feel that if the thing doesn't kill me, and i am still there, i will work for it some more till i succeed or die. Many people had different life, some might have good life as they don't have much problems but some would have a lot of problems to face. Some people might be rich but some might be poor. There is so many kinds of life. I would say that when i am younger, i might had a rich but family problem life. Anyway, i end up in poor and family problem life. I do not want to repeat the same mistake that once my family had did. I want to improve myself, i don't want my mum suffer nor my brothers suffer anymore. I want to do better for myself because of them and myself. I want to challenge myself that i knew i could not do but because in this life i had to over challenge those problems. If i had the chance to improve and learning something new, i will go and learn, because i want to get myself better in this life. In this world, you will gain nothing if you don't let go something. Maybe because of this, i had let go something that i knew i would regret, but i do not have a choice anymore, i really don't want cause the same mistake anymore. I always tell myself, if i could not take care of myself that good, how can i take care of someone i love??  Life could be many things, it is how you choose you want to be. Be yourself and that is important, because no one or anyone will like you if you stay that way. Be a grown man!!