I didn't know that I want to wish her a happy birthday...If time will be froze, then what it would be like? will i be the one who be celebrating her birthday with her or?? nobody will know it because it had already passed and it had happened. If time would be return and let me fix everything becoming perfect as I had planned, will it be a good thing for it to happened? I really don't know what to do because of my jealousy , my anger...I always put the blame on the experience that I had once encounter, always giving an excuse for myself to feel better. I feel that i am being bad and differently or maybe i am along that way? It might possible be because I do not trust myself. If everything was being alright and she got her happiness, is that what i really want? I wish to give her the best but I can't forget the things that she had done that make me lost faith on. After the break time, i always look up in the sky asking myself, should i go back or just remain it usual? I really do not know what I really want to do...I always saw the full moon that remember the promise I had made to her, because the full moon always giving me the chance that it is the right time..and my left eyes always blinking that ask me to go back but I really can't do it anymore..I had hurt her too much and i don't intend to hurt her anymore...I knew she had someone that will always be with her and that's why i can let go the hand easily..I always telling myself that "Don't worry about her..she will be happy without you anyway.." I always pray for her that she will get good marks in her exam so that even though I am not there anymore, she will still can do it without me..Recently, i saw her very happy indeed in the pictures and I knew she did it with her own efforts. I am happy for her but I do feel alone in the corner but it doesn't matter anymore because I had always been in the corner alone to face the difficulties..This year 2010, i had pray along to wish her to have a BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY and everything will goes on well for her in the following years and on...Last time, i would tell people that i had a curse with me, whoever which girl i with, she will someday leave me and really find someone she really love and it will be forever ending. It so happens in my previous ex, and they really found their true love that will be forever ending with them. For me, until the end of time, it wasn't my time to choose as I think this time she will be the same, she with him will be always forever as i had already knew that it happens all the time to me...I don't dare to wish anything for myself because I don't i deserve anything..I had everything that anyone would want..Even though times had been hard for me to face nowadays the problems...I had to face it and learn from my mistake..be a better guy each second and learn to stand up from my coward sickness..I tend to be a coward because I always don't believe in myself even though i had full imagination that what I would want to give the surprise but I fail each time. The timing is always failing on me..I nowadays listen to a song that i want to tell her but it might only be words because i think this is the bad timing for me to say it as I had always done the bad timing.
Hit-5 - 写下这首歌
台前幕后 挥一挥手 是温暖的热流
每一次疲惫中抬头 会看见亲切的面容
等候多久 徘徊多久 有过多少感动
每一次甜蜜的问候 都会有幸福的感受
say I I I I I love you so much
你们让我拥有 一个笑就足够
我们闭上眼睛 把爱情先搁一搁
我写下这首歌 歌词记录着
让我会心动的快乐
多少年后的今天还会记得
我写过这首歌 是送给你们的
熟悉某某 陌生某某 都会在我左右
每一首歌唱到最后 总会让我的眼泪流
心中的钻石发光闪烁 会永恒的照亮着我
不变的承诺 时刻伴随我 永远不沉没
I had always lie to you and I am sorry...Its the best for you...I don't deserve to have a happy ending...I knew you are happy and that is why I had left...Wish you a happy birthday and always be happy whenever times is bad, don't let down yourself..you are great and you can do better then now..I couldn't give you anything and I don't want you suffer in the end..one suffer is better then two to suffer..I know you someday you will know it and its fate...Love to me is very important but I don't want the love to suffer because of me..I do hope to see another full moon 31st of December 2010..if it really happens..I will thanks the god that HE had given another chance of remembering the special moment that had once happen in my life. Wish you always have good luck!
