Courage and Love

Courage and Love

Day 14-12-2011 , 

The number of days that is left is getting lesser and lesser. Starting to feel worry and fear. There are rules and regulation in it, but I seem to try to break the rules. The experience and mistakes I learned from the past, it slowly gives me some courage but there are always things that need to be repay. I had question for myself, what if it happens that way in the end? Will I be satisfied with the answer? I think I will feel satisfied because "LOVE" is blind. In the end, the answer wasn't the important at all. All it really matters is how you think because you had done your best. 

Things are getting messy and messier. I sometimes felt confused in some reasons. Putting effort doesn't meant success but only partial of lessons you will learn. I had always try to put effort and courage to it. I had never once in life succeed before. There are many negatives mindset in me that I could not control it. There are things that others will never know. Fear, is one of the negative mindset that it should not think of because it will distract myself from proceeding. 

When you try to show the nature of yourself, it might look horrible but I am just being myself. I slowly again start feeling the coldness that will be coming to me. I try to get myself warmth up but it is too cold as like I am being inside a freezer without any exit. Slowly, i realize that people who thinks about the relationship is because they do care about holding the relationship so that it will be stronger that the string might not be torn.

What if the things really became like the usual that you used to be. Will I still be the same? There will be question for me, but the answer is always, I will return back to my original state because that will be my fate. What if things turn out you wanted to be? Will I merrier? Yes, I will but I will start to have a long journey to stick with. The journey doesn't question me anything because I will do better and better. 

I am like a mirror, I smile and it returns me a smile when I am facing it, but when I turn around without facing the mirror, I might start to feel down and just facing down. There might be tears but the tear shows that I really care about it and it really will hurts. It will be painless to others because when I faced them, they saw the smiles that reflects, but when I turn around, you might see that so that you won't able to know about it.

Courage will give you strength and Love will give you life. With a true heart, it might not always win but it give memories. I just wish that one of my wishes come true. I used to listen to a song long time ago. "Never had a dream come true"

"Never had a dream come true till the day I had found you"
Am I?